Dear Guy Who Drives A Scooter To Work,
I get it. You're progressive, eschewing a normal vehicle for one that maxes out at 20mph in order to save money on gas. That's fine. I respect that. You probably laugh at me and the 14 miles per gallon I get in my vehicle. If only your scooter ran on your smug sense of self satisfaction, then you would have zero fuel costs. I'd probably drive a scooter too, but I have this thing called 'dignity' that gets in the way. But you don't, which is what allows you to put an Apple sticker on your helmet, I suspect.
Anyway, so now that we have established that I don't have a problem with the fact that you ride a scooter, let us move on to the issue at hand. If I pull into the parking lot one more time and get excited because there is a space close to the building, only to pull halfway in and have to stop suddenly because your glorified Schwinn is parked in a full-sized parking space, I smash that piece of shit scooter with my gas guzzler and then come back to your desk and I will fucking cut you.
Cordially,
Mike
