As I settled into my desk this morning, Loud Guy approached me. "SO ARE YOU GOING TO BE LEAVING EARLY TODAY?" he asked.
"Uh, I don't know," I told him, extremely annoyed. "Why?"
"TO GO TO THE MCCAIN/PALIN RALLY DOWNTOWN," he replied.
This did not surprise me. Because I never discuss politics with him or anybody but my closest friends, people always assume I am conservative. I suppose this is because I am a reasonably successful white male from an upper middle class household in a very conservative area of Ohio. Also, I can be kind of an prick. Four years ago, when I revealed to a law school friend that I was voting for John Kerry, she rejoiced. "Oh good. I had you pegged as one of those typical asshole Republicans."
"Nope, I am the much rarer asshole Democrat," I told her. Nothing has changed since then. I am a quiet Democrat in a very Republican office, which is why it didn't surprise me that Loud Guy thought I'd be going to the rally.
"No, I'm not going. Are you?"
"NO. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM VOTING FOR." This did not surprise me either. Undecided voters are among the dumbest people walking the earth. If you don't know by now, you shouldn't be allowed to vote. However, I was intrigued by Loud Guy's indecision.
"What is holding you back from deciding," I asked him. He went into a long, boring, and loud dissertation about how he has voted Republican all his life, but that he isn't happy with where the country is now, blah blah blah, but that he isn't sure about Obama because he heard he is a Muslim yada yada yada, and he just doesn't know what to think.
This raised a big dilemma for me. On one hand, I don't like Loud Guy. I could not see a situation where we would be friends or even acquaintances. I make my dislike for him pretty apparent. On the other hand, Ohio is a swing state and a vote is a vote, regardless of who it's from. I know that he would do anything to gain my approval. He works so hard to get me to like him. Should I exploit this? In a normal election, no, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Well, I am voting for Obama," I said, "and I think you should too." His eyes brightened, and we got into a discussion about it. Afterwards, he seemed much more enthusiastic about him. "THIS WAS REALLY INTERESTING. I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE A DEMOCRAT. YOU GAVE ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT."
For the next two weeks, we will be friends. He will vote for Obama. And on November 5th, he will feel used and abandoned, and I will feel like I have done my part.
