A few months back, when gas prices shot up, the most vocal complainer at work was The Loud Guy, and not just because his voice carried so much. Every day, he would com in and voice his complaints (loudly, of course). He would regurgitate partisan rhetoric straight from Fox News regarding who is to blame for the increase in prices. He openly debated trading in his paid-off SUV for a hybrid. He would obsessively check that website that reports local fuel prices at various gas stations. Once, he found a station selling gas for six cents less than anywhere else, and he called his wife and instructed her to go fill up her mini-van at that station, notwithstanding the fact that it was 15 miles away. Economics is not his strong suit.
However. the biggest thing he did to fight the rising cost of fuel was to find someone to carpool with. Of everything he did or planned to do, this was by far the most practical. He found a coworker who lived less than a mile away, and arranged for the two of them to ride into work together. He seemed very pleased with this arrangement, which lasted until this week. The carpool fell apart when I inadvertently encouraged his carpool buddy to renege on the deal. (Did I say inadvertently? I should say, absolutely did it on purpose.)
It all started on Tuesday, when Loud Guy took a half day and left early, meaning they each drove separately. I was chatting with his carpool mate, an affable but somewhat overly trusting fellow, and he had mentioned their arrangement. Curious, I pressed for the details of their carpool and was shocked at what I had learned. Loud Guy drove every day. Carpool Buddy paid for the gas. All of the gas. At least once a week and sometimes more, Carpool Buddy would spend nearly $70 to fill up Loud Guy's tank. And these guys only live 12 miles from work. Even estimating conservatively, they used 10 gallons per week to get to and from work. Loud Guy has a 20 gallon tank, and Carpool Buddy said that when they filled up it was always close to empty. Basically, Loud Guy had found a way to beat the high gas prices; he convinced someone else to pay for all of his gas.
"Dude, you are getting fucked," I told him upon hearing the details. "When you carpool, at most you'd pay him a predetermined sum of money per week, maybe like $20. Or even better, you guys would take turns driving. What kind of car do you have?"
"A Camry," he replied.
"So how did it come to be that he drove his huge ass SUV in every day?" I was getting fired up.
"I don't know, he was pretty insistent. I just went along with it."
"Okay, well, why did you agree to pay for an entire tank of gas? What was his reasoning?"
"He said that he would take the wear and tear on the car, if I paid the gas. I don't know, it made sense at the time."
"That is fucking ridiculous. He is screwing you over big time. You are paying for almost all of his gas in exchange for getting to ride to work with him. The wear and tear is minimal at best. That is a terrible deal. You should seriously call him on it."
"You're right," he said, getting fired up himself. "This is a terrible deal. I am going to say something tomorrow."
The next day came and went, and the two arrived at work together and then left together. There didn't seem to be a rift in the partnership, so I assumed that Carpool Buddy had chickened out. I was annoyed at this possibility, since I can't stand to see injustice perpetrated by people who I don't like, but I decided not to push the issue any more. So you can imagine my delight when I came to work the next morning and found Loud Guy waiting for me. "THANKS FOR RUINING MY CARPOOL, MIKE. HE TOLD ME THAT YOU SAID I WAS SCREWING HIM OVER AND WANTED TO MAKE DIFFERENT ARRANGEMENTS. NOW WE'RE NOT RIDING TOGETHER ANY MORE."
Mission accomplished.
